These are the letters we read to our daughter every year on her birthday...
Before I joined the digital age of scrapbooking, I did it the old fashioned way- with paper and scissors and stickers and letters and notes and ribbons and notions. I spent time crafting these books that I hoped the children would one day treasure as much as I did. A friend scoffed at my scrapbooks once, saying that the children would never want them, not knowing where to put them or what to do with them after I am gone. That may be true, but I cherish these books. Isn't that enough? Some of them stay on shelves in the attic, but I bring them out from time to time to look at them. To pore over them, truthfully. I wouldn't trade anything for these books. Not only do they hold pictures that tell a thousand words, but they are filled with Mark's and my thoughts, our own words. They are a journal. I consider them a gift from our past. And they begin with these letters. The children may one day scoff at the sheer volume of pages, but for now, even they appreciate the pictures and words on those page.
Courtland Elizabeth, my firstborn, will be ten years of age tomorrow. I remember waiting for her. I was so impatient. I obsessed over how she would look. Would she have dark hair and olive skin like mine, or Mark's slender legs and golden hair? September 9, 2004, twelve days before our daughter was born, Mark and I wrote out our feelings about the anticipation of Courtland. "Dear Courtland," I wrote, "I am so excited about you!" I wrote paragraphs to her, and finished my letter by telling our daughter, "If there is one thing that you get from this letter, it should be that our love for you was here before you were even born, and it will always be. We love you unconditionally! Love, Mommy"
Mark's tells Courtland about how he longs to protect, love, nurture, and teach her. He describes his anticipation of watching football games with her, riding windows-down in the truck with a dog riding along in the back. He explains to her, "My parents raised me in loving Christian home; both my parents taught me so much about being loyal, faithful, optimistic, dependable, and hardworking. I promise you that I will do my absolute best to pass along to you all the things that I have been provided."
There are many things in life I wish I would or would not have spent time on, but recording our feelings of anticipation, our hopes for the future, and putting our words of love for Courtland onto paper has not been one of them. Tomorrow afternoon, on the anniversary of her birth, we will gather as a family, snuggling, laughing, reading these letters, telling stories, and sharing memories. Tomorrow we celebrate Courtland Elizabeth. We loved her then, but could not even fathom the love that is now and the love that is to come. Happy birthday, Miss Courtie. We love you so!
xoxo, Mommy and Daddy
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